Clinical Insanity

Well fuck me

2006-10-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so its creeping up on a month and I am yet to find a new job. Part of the problem is that my last boss has been blackballing me. I was offered positions ABOVE what I was actually applying for and went to many an interview. Yet the end result is always the same. They "went with another candidate". Now normally I would just brush it off and keep going, but this is entry level shit and my interviews all went very well. I then had to call them to find out what was going on, and they wouldn't offer any explinaton other than a very "don't press the issue" kind of tone. So I am still on the hunt. Come on my loyal readers (all 2 of you) if you know of anything, for the love of shit let me know. I have things to buy.

2006-09-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

Wow...making homemade coney dogs was a big mistake... i think im gonna have to sleep this one off... There is serious risk of me slipping into a food coma and then just straight up being sick whilst in the coma...so if you dont hear from me in a few days...that means I'm on my couch drowned in a pool of my own chili dog vomit.

I QUIT!

2006-09-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well its official, I handed in my two weeks notice this morning. I literally went directly home after my shift last night and typed it up and placed it next to my things so I wouldn't forget it in the morning. Last night was an amazing example of how not to be a manager. My boss, Delano White, who will hence forth be referred to as BFCBDB, or Big Fat Cry-Baby Douche Bag, had him self all worked up into a frenzy last night. And of course, he decided to take it out on me. The shop had been pretty busy for the past few hours, and he has us scheduled to all work by ourselves, so to get a few minutes is a nice break. I used this time productively (after cleaning tables and espresso cups and blah blah) to open up a paper that I had been working on earlier. Now, when a paper is assigned on Friday and is due on Monday, and I am working all day an then til close on both Saturday and Sunday night, I don't have much alternative but to at least start a paper or do some work on it while at work in my free time. He had just come from a booth on campus promoting the store, handed me a ton of HIS mess to clean up, after which he noticed that the paper was up on the screen. This apparently was unacceptable to BFCBDB. He went off about me being online, to which I replied I wasn't, and that I was working on a paper that I have due on Monday. BFCBDB must have thought that this was some kind of sarcastic remark or snide comment, because this set him off, in front of customers. And he kept repeating "Whatever man, just keep doin what yer doin, whatever man." He was so loud and so obnoxious about the entire thing that it prompted not 1, but THREE customers to come up to me after he left and say things like "whatever, you're like the best one here". I then went about the rest of whatever, and on his way out I asked if I could speak to him in back. Amazing that I care more about appearances in front of customers than he does, and he owns the damn place. I then tried to talk to him like an adult, saying that "Working here used to be a very enjoyable experience, but over the past few months it has gotten worse and worse. I am unsure of what the change has been but..." What followed was a temper tantrum the likes of which I have never seen anyone past the age of eight throw. Including a that "whatever man, I left a salad out earlier just to see what you would do, and you left it there for 20 minutes!" I tried to reply with, "Well BFCBDB, that salad was still 3/4 full, with a fork in it, and you were walking around watching the football game. I'm not really in the habit of taking food away from people who are still eating it. Nor did I really expect my boss to deliberately leave a mess out there so I would clean up after him. I assumed that you were still eating it." And I didn't manage to get a single word in after that. Now, had he left, I could understand, if it was a customer, I would understand. But no part of the event should have resulted in me instinctively knowing to clean up after him. He ranted and raved and cried for a little while longer until I eventually gave up trying to get a point across. I then did a semi shitty close because he convinced me that I didn't really want to work here much longer. As if that wasn't bad enough when I handed in my two weeks notice this morning, he said "Ya, Ok, Whatever" and then folded it up and threw it in the trash. Simply amazing. If I wanted to work with children I would have gotten a job at a daycare center. But because of certain laws and certain things I may or may not have done, I can't (to you non-regular readers yes, that is a joke). So I now officially need a new job, and have only 2 weeks to find it. Please people, help me out here. If yer ever in Detroit and happen to walk by Beans & Bytes and have a couple eggs or spoiled milk handy, feel free to throw them at the window, and let BFCBDB know what an asshole you think he is.

25 Questions That Make Me Look Like Even More Of A Dick

2006-08-25T02:13:00.000-07:00

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Well, if its a girl im attracted too, most likely i wont be looking into their eyes...ill be looking into their clevage...so...i guess it doesnt really matter

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I dont get angry...i get even...then i get angry when my plan to get even fails...then i get angry...then i get even with...myself??

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

I was always under the impression that cell phones wouldnt get reception that high up...so i wouldnt call anyone..what i would do instead of crying like a wuss, is kill as many people as possible super quick, then sew their skin together to make a parachute and jump out the door to saftey

4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

i tell EVERYONE...ill be damned if Im going to pay for drinks in my last month of life. I then spend my remaining days doing things that everyone is afraid to do because they might die. start with heroine, buy a ferarri and then flip it over a bridge going 250 mph. Cuz lets face it, whats a cooler death, getting sick and dying or flipping your ferarri off a bridge?

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.

Uhhh...trust? because then i can trick people into trusting me...then i rob their asses blind.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

what the fuck kind of dog cant swim? at any rate, i sure as shit cant swim...sooo...sucks to be that dog i guess.

7. Would you rather be be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

I dont get hurt...i get even (see above)

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more then just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you ( or did you ) do/say?

well, first i question myself for being friends with a he/she. then i laugh in the hermaphrodite's face...then i go barf.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

Hahahahaha dude...an hour for a year? that is for sure not a fair trade...ya we all miss people...but id miss myself more

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

As long as im hanging out with myself at someone elses house....that way i wont break all my shit

11. Does love = sex?

well, ive had a lot of sex...and no love...soooo no? also, i dont think people love hookers, i mean, we all LOVE hookers, but we arent IN LOVE with hookers.

12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not

No, sucks to be them. I have me to support, and fankly, id rather see co-worker on the street than me on the street.

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

i have never been honest a single day in my life...and im sure as fuck not starting now.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?

that situation hasnt really come up. but i imagine that telling them i love them would be harder, because i can always laugh at other peoples misfortune...and gettin rejected like that...oh man thats some funny times.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

my trust fund...i've been waiting a long time for that bastard...and i want that new house.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

i was wasted...it was a dude...and lots of gay sex followed

18. Imagine. it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

Wonder Woman, cuz she would kick their ass then let me sleep on her wonderful jugs, Truth and Justice.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

Dude...FUCK NO, ive seen where those homeless lips have been...I'm far too OCD for that...also...its a homeless person...its not exactly a horrible loss...in fact...odds are im the person that jammed that lego down their throat

21. You are holding onto your grandmothers hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

Depends....is it the baby of a billionare? cuz if it is...sorry grandma...but if its the child of a poor person...then oh, no, too bad, one less factory working, trailer living, waste of human life...sorry ya smelly monster truck lovin bastard...grandma wins that one

22. Are you old fashioned?

well, yes and no. cant think of anything funny...this is a dumb question.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

ill let ya know when it happens

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

I'm not a fag. so this doesnt really apply to me.

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

Omnipotent powers...holy fuck...that would be amazing...i would rule the world with an iron fist... yer lookin at the worlds first super villain, the kind with super powers, not the hitler kind.

Girls Can't Complain About Butt Sex

2006-08-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Man I have been bored out of my mind. Since I'm not really working anymore and class doesn't start til after labor day I haven't had a single fuckin thing to do. Granted I haven't been in peak physical condition over the past few days. On Friday my ass hurt so bad I finally broke down and went to the doctor. Turns out I had a peri-rectal abscess. Which basically means something made a tiny cut inside my ass and it got infected and swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. Safe to say I couldn't really walk or sit or even lay down without it hurting...a lot. The doc diagnosed it within about a minute and said that I needed to have it operated on...right away. Oh, side note...when he shoved his fingers up my ass and put pressure on the abscess it hurt so bad that I literally vomited from the pain. Apparently if I had waited even just one more day, an ER visit would have been in order. So he sends me to a surgeon that amazingly enough is across the street from my apartment complex. After an hour or so and another 3 men shoving their fingers into my ass he agrees with the other docs diagnosis and I get to have surgery, yay! Surgery consists of giving me a MILD anesthetic, then pulling my rectum out of my ass and slicing away at the abscess with a scalpel so all the blood and pus drains out. Whatever anesthetic he gave me...didn't work. I felt every move that guy made. The nurse even said something at one point to the effect of "did you remember to give him the anesthetic? cuz it looks like you're hurting him a lot." I don't really remember her exact words, I was too busy sweating and trying to find a happy place. After he was done cutting away he stuffed my windsock back inside I had to lie there for a little while longer while my ass drained. I walked back to my apartment and got into a hot bath with candles and such...fuck you, its not sissy, it was doctors orders. Well, not the candles, but the hot bath was, and if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right. Basically what I walked away from the whole ordeal with is this: No girl is ever allowed to complain about anal sex to me ever again. What I endured was far worse than ANYTHING that any girl has ever had to deal with while getting plugged in the ass. Ladies; I had like 5 dudes fists up inside my ass WHILE it was already swollen and then they shoved knives and cut away at me. And I didn't even think it hurt that badly. So, no more bitching. Then the next day I got bronchitis...not as good of a story, but it still sucked.

Bored and Tired....and at work

2006-08-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

Usually when I feel like this much shit on a Saturday afternoon it means I had a kickass Friday night...either that or I drank alone while singing Hillary Duff songs all night. At any rate, no, this particular Saturday I feel like a cat's asshole with a popped hemorrhoid because of far more lame reasons. I was up all night on Friday doing laundry and groceries. Ya...that's right. I would have been home at a normal time, but my parents invited me out to dinner, and who I am to refuse a free hot meal. So afterward I was trying to teach my brother how to use his new MacBook (I barely know Mac as is) and my parents dryer kersploded. So for the however many hours I tried to do CPR on his old notebook (literally actually...the screen was fucked and the lose wire was able to be connected if you did the resuscitation motion to the left of where the mousepad was) and teach him how to use the new one, all my wet shit was just sitting in there with 2 more loads waiting behind it. When I found it was broken, my mom was pissed to say the least, not at me, but at the fact that it was broken. The starter had its face fucked from overuse. I told her to give me 10 minutes with it and I could get it up and running. She made some quip about how I know computers well, but appliances are some whole other thing. Half way through her sentence I had it working again. So after hours of waiting for clothes to dry I finally get home...at 4am. By the time I'm done putting away $220 worth of groceries and 3 loads of laundry its now damn near 6am. My dog wouldn't settle down for the life of him...sleep finally hit somewhere around 6:45. But of course I wake up 100 times because my retard brain seems to think that my alarm won't go off. Its fucked to wake up at 12:30 in the afternoon and only be sitting on about 3 1/2 hours of solid sleep. On top of that I'm stuck at the coffee shop til 10pm. Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't work by myself and we had customers. Its almost 6pm and the last customer I had was at 5:07 in the computer. If anyone knows of some place that wants to hire me....for the love of shit tell me. I'm smart, capable, kind of a dick, knowledgeable, and I'll work for practically nothing because, well, my time is pretty much worthless anyways. Preferably something in Royal Oak. With that...I'm out.

How quickly a converstaion wanders

2006-08-11T12:13:00.000-07:00

This whole convo arose somehow from my friend asking me about what kind of tv to buy...and the rest...fuck...I dont even know anymore

FlossinPlatinum: i can prolly get like 30% off of panasonics
You Love Future: really?
FlossinPlatinum: i get like 30% discount on them through IBM
You Love Future: dude, honestly, is there a limit to how much crap you can buy?
You Love Future: cuz you should start buyin stuff with your discount then sellin it on eBay for like 15% off, itll still be cheaper than the store and you keep the difference
FlossinPlatinum: uhm, i feel like thats frowned upon
You Love Future: well duh
You Love Future: so is punching an old crazy homeless woman in the face, but that didnt stop me
FlossinPlatinum: and thats what seperates us
You Love Future: dont act all high and mighty with your "real job" with a "real company" and your "real life" when i still mooch of my parents, dont work, and beat up old schitzophreic homeless women
FlossinPlatinum: good news, my manager liked the diagram of a naked guy i made after he specifically told me to put clothes on him and told me i can have the rest of the day off
You Love Future: umm
You Love Future: really?
You Love Future: also...what?

GGW

2006-08-10T23:25:00.000-07:00

I am getting kind of tired of seeing these late night Girls Gone Wild ads on just about every chanel after 11PM. They should consider changing the title of the series to "Dumb Whores With Nothing To Offer The World Other Than a Set of Titties and Whose Daddy Didn't Hug Them Enough As A Child So Now They Will Do Anything For Attention From A Male Authority Figure". Then again, I guess that title isn't as catchy.

New Rule

2006-08-08T14:33:00.000-07:00

Anyone who drives an H2 is automatically a dick.

Whiskey and Puppies

2006-08-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

For the longest time I didn't like whiskey. I don't know why or what the logic behind it was, but I just found the drink to smell and taste awful. Well, I've decided thats because people drink shitty whiskey and thats all I was ever really exposed to. I went out and bought a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label because this girl wanted to drink whiskey (yes i know its technically scotch, but scotch is whisky so shut up). And well, I don't allow cheap booze in my house so I had to get something good. I made myself a whiskey sour with the shit and it was damned amazing. So now I have a new favorite hard alcohol, too bad its so damn expensive. That being said, I would like to point out that my dog dresses better than most people. He's rockin a Burberry collar in that picture off to the right, and chewing up a cheap collar. To everyone that thinks buying designer brand shit for a dog is a waste of money, rest assured, you are 100% correct. That's why its so damn fun.

Buying new homes while running away from the homeless

2006-08-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

So its all been settled. I've gotten off my ass and moved to Royal Oak, leaving downtown Detroit behind in a cloud of if its own filth and poverty. The reasons for my move were several fold. One, Detroit fucking sucks. Two, far too many homeless people. That isn't to say that I have no compassion for the less fortunate, but at this point, I don't anymore. When I cant take a fucking 5 minute break at work to smoke a cigarette outside without being accosted by no fewer than 2 homeless people....that's a bit much. And I'm talking about without fail. Every single time. Three, let's face it, other than the casino, there isn't shit to do out there. The bar and other entertainment scene out there is severely lacking. There is nothing downtown that isn't offered in a much better way in the suburbs besides the casino. Four, living conditions. The problem is that people have accepted shitty building maintenance and upkeep and renovation for far too long. So much so, that the investment firms that own the buildings have realized they can charge large sums of money for what equals out to be impoverished living conditions in any suburb. Five, just about no damn place allows dogs. The ones that do, are lacking in other areas, like living space, and functional plumbing. Some say I bitched out...well...fuck you guys. I'm rich. I'm not going to live in squalor so I can have some sort of half assed "hip/urban" label smeared across my forehead while I talk shit about the suburbs. You guys can keep the city, as for me, I'm going to talk my dog for a walk on the crackhead free sidewalks, the maybe take a swim in my dead body free pool.

just pictures for hosting purposes

2006-08-03T14:29:00.000-07:00